Archive for the ‘PW Rants’ Category

RIP: PW

November 12, 2009

We’ve heard all the official tones (or, rather, posh voices), seen the fruit of rote memorisation and practiced cheeriness, and witnessed firsthand the dread of unanticipated questions from the assessors. And now, It is Over.

So, PW, may you rest in peace. As we have appeased you with our sacrifices of mind-numbing frustration, terminally long meetings, and other assorted travails, please do not rise from the grave to trouble us again. I have great faith that you will most certainly not do so. Of course, we fully expect you to inflict yourself upon unsuspecting J1s in a few months to come, as we spectate with vicarious glee.

An ode to PW

September 22, 2009

Oh PW, you’ve captured me within your embrace
But of you I am not worthy; oh, the disgrace!
Your demands are too high, too great, too lofty
For the likes of lowly, lowly, merest, me.
You ask for dedication, for steadfast  devotion;
Yet what I give surely is not adoration.

You are of too high worth,
of too noble a birth
For merest me to meet your expectation.
And thusly I stand, rooted in frustration
Brow furrowed in consternation
Slowly sinking into desperation.

My spirit is flagging
My will is waning;
You are too wild a thing.
Incandescent in living beauty
Shining forth your visceral glory
You are far too much for me.

I could not dream to fulfill your demands,
to match your pace or to satisfy your needs.
You wake me every hour of the night
And with incessant cries and unsated appetites
You make abundantly clear your most classy tastes.

I will not feign comprehension of your ways
For I make neither head nor tail of your manners most fey.
Your understanding is, without question, incomparable,
As is your meticulous eye for detail.
No quote, no statement, not the slightest unsubstantiated jot
Is allowed past your eagle eye, unscathed and uncaught.

What other mistress could be as fine;
Who could match your strange appeal?
Who, indeed, could leave me utterly resigned
To never seeing her true desires unconcealed?

Oh PW! Oh PW!
I could not pretend understanding of your plans.
I admit: you are far more than I can take!
Your beauty, your allure, they are not for common man
But only for those a little different in their heads.

FFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

September 8, 2009

DAMMIT PW.

THOU MAKETH ME LOSE ALL FAITH IN HUMANITY (Ng, 2009)

“This (strategy) is [adjective x] because it is [adjective x]” (Common Sense, 2009)
“We want to implement [this strategy]. (substantiate)” (Wtf because we want to dammit, 2009)

First.

June 24, 2009

Things I do not need (and by extension, reminders as well):
-Internet Explorer 8
-Quicktime updates
-The latest version of Java
-The newest version of Messenger
-Apple software bundled with itunes
-PW

Who needs Cracked.com, Imagechan, TheOnion, Failblog, Webcomics, Stumbleupon, online games, Messenger, the internet, or anything else at all when there’s PW? Can anything on the Web even approach it in sheer life-ruining potential?

Death, taxes, and PW. If I got a penny for each PW rant this year, I… wouldn’t be rich, but would be significantly less irked by it.

Edit: I shall keep count with the newly created category “PW rants”.
Edit edit: Turns out this is the fourth one already

More PW

June 3, 2009

More %*@%&#(* PW. If you want to do me a favour, fill in this survey.

Not so much a post as an excuse

May 26, 2009

You know what boggles the mind? The extent to which I’m able to distract myself from PW.

Of course, I wouldn’t have been able to do it without the continuing support of my ever-ready friends brimming with helpfulness. Thank you Yanwei for the most persuasive of distractions. After all, if I’m going to procrastinate might as well enjoy it to the fullest eh?

PWPWPWPWPWPWPWPW………… [incoherence]

Too tired to rant about it. Sleepy, because I’m staying up late to do PW. Silly, because I’m blogging instead of doing PW. Disenchanted, because PW is such a bore, such a chore. Glad, because I can stay up late, while everyone else has GP common test tomorrow, to do PW.  Distracted, because PW is so easy to be distracted from.

….Well then, so PW is ruining running my life now. What’s there to do but to take the last defiant stand of freedom, and to fall flat on the cold hard realisation that defiance now only means procrastination and more work later? When will I ever learn.

Procrasti-nation — Population:1

April 17, 2009

Good news: Finally started on PI
Bad news: 12 hours till it’s due
Worse news: I’m blogging
Worster news: Chinese zuo4 wen2